Have you ever felt frustrated and overwhelmed with life because you take on too much of other people's stuff for acceptance?
If you answered yes, you may be a people pleaser and need to learn how to set boundaries.
What is a People Pleaser?
A people pleaser is someone who often disregards their own wants and needs in order to satisfy others.
We strive for balanced and wholesome relationships with healthy boundaries in most social interactions. As an act of love, we donate our time, money, and energy to help others.
However, when someone is a people pleaser, their act of love becomes self-sacrifice, and they lose track of who they truly are. People pleasers take on these behaviors to be loved and be considered valuable to others. The joy of pleasing people all the time potentially leads to mental exhaustion.
Actions of a People Pleaser:
Overcommit on responsibilities,
Always the "Yes" Man,
Avoid conflict,
Avoid advocating for their needs,
Take on extra work, even when they don't have enough time.
Feelings of People Pleasers:
Pressured to be happy all the time and not complain,
Feel that people are taking advantage of them,
Stressed with taking on too many commitments,
Feel anxious when standing up for themselves,
Frustrated that they never have enough time for themselves.
Several factors can cause people to become people pleasers. Low self-esteem can make individuals believe that their needs are unimportant. Anxiety can also play a role as people seek to fit in and gain acceptance from their peers. In cases of trauma, people may have learned to please their abuser as a way of survival. Gender inequity can also make people pleasing, particularly women, who may feel their role is to put others' needs before their own. Finally, cultural norms may encourage people to view pleasing others as a virtue.
As previously stated, trying to please everyone can take a toll on your mental well-being. This behavior can cause you to take on too much and become stressed over situations that do not align with your personal desires or needs. It can also foster feelings of resentment, which may eventually manifest as passive-aggressiveness, especially when you feel like you are not in control or have no other choice. Additionally, constantly putting others first can lead to losing self-identity, as you may not clearly understand your wants and needs.
Tips for Breaking the Habit:
Embrace the discomfort that comes with changing your mindset by practicing saying "No". Practice it repeatedly in front of a mirror and apply it in real-life situations.
It's okay to delay requests. You do not have to give an immediate response; take your time to think about the answer.
Recognize your own self-worth. Your needs, wants, and desires are just as important as those of others.
Transformative coaching can bring about a heightened awareness of behaviors contributing to an imbalance in your well-being. Start changing your life's course by booking a complimentary consultation.
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